The 5 Best Musical Canadians- A Definitive List

A list entirely based upon my own opinion, which I consider to be definitive, comprising of the best musical talent the great white north has to offer. Thank me later.

1. Drake

In the words of Jacobim Mugatu, Drake is so hot right now. Definitely one of the world’s best rappers, Drake is pretty much a verb now. If someone says something sounds Drakey you instantly know what they are talking about. Moody beats, emotional lyrics. Driving to exes houses. He is the most memed hip-hop star in the world and for a reason, he is unmistakably Drakey. He is also the most successful Canadian Hip-Hop export of all time, selling over 5 million albums in his career and this is all down to his Drakeyness. His music videos are Draked. Drake is the Drake of Draking Drake. But for real though ‘Just Hold on We’re Going Home’ was the best song of 2013. Bar none.

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2. Mac Demarco

The big Mac! Big daddy Mac! Mac attack! It’s very hard to be innovative when limiting yourself to the traditional rock and roll quartet of two guitars, bass and drums, but by golly have I never heard anything quite like Mac Demarco. On first listen he might sound like a joke, all jangly and croony, but once the brilliance of his songs shines through you will be hooked. From his lower-than low-fi first album Rock and Roll Nightclub to his superb self-titled second album, Demarco knows how to write a good pop song, with the underlying feeling in his raw recordings being that he sounds like he’s actually having fun. This is definitely one for fans of nostalgia guitar acts such as Kurt Vile and Ty Segall, just imagine if Elvis Presley somehow ended up being the lead singer in Pavement and they started playing lounge music.

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IMAGINE IT.

3. Feist

With her dulcet tones and airy arrangements, Leslie Feist has made some of the most affecting indie rock albums of the noughties. Perfectly blending pop sensibilities with introversion, sublime orchestration and slamming guitar riffage, Feist is so talented its annoying. A onetime member of Canadian indie-stalwarts Broken Social Scene, Feist transcended the local canuck scene and her popularity now stretches across oceans. She even had that song on the Ipod advert that time that was really popular, but we don’t mention that. Feist is legit Pitchfork royalty. All joking aside The Reminder and Metals are two of my favourite albums of all time and she is probably one of the best melodic guitar players in the world.

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Snoop Dogg and Feist. This happened…

 

4. Neil Young

It’s Neil Young Dude.

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Awwwww Yeah.

5. Fucked Up

I have never been one for rock operas, and to be honest not many people are, but Fucked Up’s ‘David Comes To Life’ cannot be described, only listened to. Starting out as a hardcore punk band with members called, among other things, 10,000 Marbles and Mustard Gas, recent albums have seen the band eschew the traditional punk tropes and embraced a wider variety of elements ranging from prog to glam. One thing that makes them great is their dynamic song-writing, I defy you to name me a better band at writing the start of songs. Just the start. You won’t be able to because Fucked Up have got the balls-out intro riff down. They also have one of the most lovable cuddly frontmen in the world, tell me you wouldn’t let this man sweetly serenade you to sleep:

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Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Honourable mentions:

Arcade Fire- I love this band but I don’t actually consider them Canadian as Win and Will Butler were born in California and raised in Texas. This is despite them having half of Canada in the band.

Joni Mitchell- The most beautiful voice of all, but sadly does not have the songs for me.

Jim Carrey- I know he’s a comedian but he is a Canadian and he is Jim Carrey.

Dishonourable mentions:

FUCK BIEBER AND FUCK MICHAEL BUBLE YO.

OH, CANADA.

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